Did I do anything embarrassing? Why did I say that? Why did I do that? This has been my typical mental monologue after leaving a social catchup or event over the last few years.

In the past, my social anxiety would manifest itself prior to or during social situations. But more recently, I’ve found that while I’m relaxed leading up to a hangout with friends, and genuinely happy and present with them in the moment, the anxiety rears its head once I return home. I begin to scrutinize the way I behaved, fixating on anything I consider embarrassing. It’s a terrible pattern, a kind of post-socializing misery hangover.

To be sure, it’s not generally a bad thing to reflect after a social interaction, says Amanda di Bartolomeo, Ph.D., a Los Angeles–based clinical psychologist specializing in social anxiety disorder. Existing within a community requires that we learn from and adjust the way we interact with other people.

But if your reflection is limited to replaying the negative parts of your social interactions and perpetuating feelings of shame or self-criticism, that’s less constructive, says Janeé Steele, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Both psychologists refer to that behavior as post-event rumination. According to Steele, post-event rumination is “the process of obsessively replaying and analyzing a social situation or interaction after it has occurred. The individual is usually focusing on their perceived mistakes or any awkward moments.”

Steele goes on: “If you continue to think about the social situation long after it is over, if those thoughts interfere with your functioning, if it starts to have a negative impact on your mood, if the thoughts become debilitating in a way where they cause you to avoid social situations in the future, or interfere with your ability to do other things because your concentration is suffering, these are signs that you’ve crossed over into rumination.”

Post-event rumination is associated with social anxiety disorder, a condition that affects around 7.1% of U.S. adults, whereas generalized anxiety disorder affects around 3.1% of the population. Yet while post-event rumination can be an expression of social anxiety, not every person with social anxiety exhibits post-event rumination, per Steele.

Why do some people ruminate after social events?

Broadly speaking, people living with social anxiety possess a fear of being judged by others negatively and of being embarrassed in social situations, say Steele and Di Bartolomeo. This means that in social settings, the brain may try to protect you from those perceived dangers by anticipating them, and/or scanning for any evidence that could support them, says Di Bartolomeo.