Oh, The Summer I Turned Pretty, how you tantalize me—and also piss me off. I am pretty much 100% aligned with Belly’s mom, Laurel, in not thinking this deeply world-innocent college junior should marry some blond, perpetually sunburned bro just to prove she’s over his significantly hotter brother. And yet, I’m kind of having fun with this JV-league wedding plotline? Below, find absolutely every single thought I had about The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3, Episode 6:

1. Am I the only one who sings the title of this show to the tune of Loudon Wainwright III’s “The Swimming Song”?
2. Oh, Belly. Why in the Lane Kim hell are the writers of this show making you get married in college?
3. Where is this girl getting rent money for an apartment for her and her soon-to-be “husband”?
4. When I was her age, I lived off babysitting earnings and the funds my parents generously put on the stupid little ID card you could use to buy ice cream and tampons at the college bookstore.
5. And I was (correctly) not engaged!
6. I’m not saying nobody should get engaged in college, but Belly definitely should not.
7. Okay, Jeremiah serving “cute futch lesbian” with his messy hair and glasses.
8. And yes, that is the first and last time I will use the words “Jeremiah” and “cute” in the same sentence.
9. Oh, okay, here’s where the apartment money is allegedly coming from (Jeremiah’s dad).
10. Why are we referring to “Jere” in the third person?
11. Was that an Idaho student murders reference?
12. I know I’m being negative about this relationship, but…God save me from Jeremiah cooking “Sunday dinner every week.”
13. What do just-out-of-college boys cook for dinner, anyway? Freezer broccoli and PBR?
14. Good luck finding an apartment to rent (even a terrible one) that doesn’t require a credit check, you sweet summer children.
15. Is my TV shitty, or is the lighting on this show so dark?
16. I’m trying to imagine how I would have “helped” if one of my besties were getting married in college, and I’m just coming up with myself, hungover, getting Doc Martens grime all over the venue carpets.
17. Like, I’m 32 years old, and I’m still not ready.
18. But I guess this show isn’t about me!
19. Okay, mean wedding-planner lady, a lobster roll is not a mere sandwich.
20. “Yacht formal”? Oh my God, indeed.
21. Belly, go with the brother who can cook (or at least put food in the fridge for you).
22. I agree with Taylor’s mom: TGI Friday’s Mudslides shouldn’t count as alcohol, legally speaking.
23. Oop, is Jeremiah and Conrad’s dad re-upping his affair?
24. Well, I guess his wife is deceased, so it’s not really an affair anymore, but still…should he be sleeping with someone from the office whom he already cheated on his late wife with, and whom he’s pulled into planning his son’s wedding?
25. Aw, I love Conrad for trying to convince Laurel to come to this nonsense wedding.
26. Why is Laurel charmed by him ordering for her, though?
27. I know it’s supposed to be cute, but never let a man order for you.
28. I do think Conrad’s right that Laurel will regret not being there for Belly during all this wedding stuff, TBH.
29. Should Conrad and Laurel hook up?
30. Okay, sorry, I know this isn’t The O.C.
31. But, damn, remember when Luke and Julie Cooper got it on? We used to be a proper country.
32. I fear I don’t really care about this Steven/tech/potential brewing-romance plotline.
33. I need him back with Taylor, stat!
34. This balloon display…
35. I mean, I’m not really one for bridal showers in the first place, so why am I commenting?
36. Hey, it’s Laurel!!!
37. Time for an emotionally charged fellas’ suit-fitting.
38. God, that scrapbook is going to be an amazing thing to weep over when Belly and Jeremiah inevitably break up.
39. I am on the record about finding Conrad hot, but I do really want him to wash his hair and fix his depression bangs.
40. Not the Alvvays needle drop!
41. God, the boys’ dad is such a dick.
42. Get his ass, Conrad.
43. Aw, Laurel telling Belly “There’s a lot of world to see” and giving her tickets to Paris for her honeymoon is above and beyond the call of mom duty.
44. Aw, I want to recreate this watching-old-musicals-on-Wednesday-nights ritual when I have a kid.
45. Aw, I love Belly belting Bye Bye Birdie.
46. Almost as much as I love Belly healing Conrad’s wounds!
47. Literally and figuratively, wink-wink.