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I love recapping rom-coms and fun, frothy shows like And Just Like That…, but it’s important to change up your oeuvre every once in a while. In that spirit, I’ve recently set my sights on The Waterfront, Netflix’s gritty-slash-soapy new drama about the family behind a North Carolina fishing empire. Let’s dive in, shall we?
Below, find literally every thought I had while watching the first episode of The Waterfront:
- Ooh, mist on the water! Spooky!
- Where’s Daisy’s green light? (As you can see, I’ve read a book.)
- I’m sorry, but these are some interchangeable-looking white men.
- Of course one of them is named Troy.
- Chase scene!
- Damn, this guy got punched and now he’s in a net like a dolphin being thrown overboard.
- Now I’m watching a trailer for that Hayden Panettiere movie about dolphins and crying.
- This is, perhaps, the blondest man of all.
- This little girl’s updo is updo-ing!
- Does a small child really “need” the “new” “iPhone”?
- Do any of us, for that matter?
- Love this Southern mom’s mini-bouffant.
- “Daddy, I’m not being heard.” This is Valerie Cherish’s true daughter, y’all.
- Man, that ship is wrecked.
- Sheriff Porter is hot! I mean, ACAB, but still.
- Did they film this in Sag Harbor?
- Who buys red curtains?
- A guy with a drinking problem, I guess, although I feel like blackout shades would be more effective.
- Hey, it’s Maria Bello!
- “Find yourself a bra.” Damn.
- “Cane Buckley” is simply not a real name.
- This guy also kind of looks like bizarro-world Dave from Happy Endings.
- I miss that show.
- I love when someone names an amount of credit card debt that’s more than what I have.
- This girl’s ex-husband has a terminal case of rat face.
- Ooh, boat subterfuge.
- I kind of like Bree, the angry sister who’s banned from going to her son’s swim meets.
- So much punching.
- Father-on-son punching, even.
- Galveston mention! Everybody drink and salute Ms. Tina Knowles!
- “You reach for that Johnnie Walker, I will chop your hand off.” May God bless and keep Southern broads.
- The blond men convene once more.
- Wait, why does this girlypop named Jenna look so familiar?
- Ooh, she’s a journalist who works remote! Me, too!
- “You’re so hell-bent on dying, do it already.” Again, Southern women do not mess around.
- Of course Cane was going to play college ball. Friday Night Lights the house down!
- Oh, duh, Jenna is Humberly González, a.k.a. Sophie Sanchez from Ginny & Georgia!
- The way Maria Bello’s button-down is tucked into her jeans is truly fascinating to me.
- Harlan, Hoyt, Cane…is any man in North Carolina named, like, Adam? Noah? Gabe? Anything even vaguely Jewish?
- This guy’s cutoff-sleeved button-down is so Mac from It’s Always Sunny-core.
- Love that this show is becoming about narcotraficante.
- Oh NO, are they about to feed this dude to sharks?
- Are there sharks in North Carolina?
- Yep, that’s a fin!
- Bull shark, I assume? Or tiger shark?
- Oh, God.
- I cannot watch this shark-bait scene. I will barf, I’m telling you.
- This mother/son energy is…weird.
- It’s giving We Need to Talk About Kevin, one of my all-time favorite terrible movies.
- Man, this cop is bald as hell.
- Also, kind of a badass!
- I’m sorry, this teen boy’s name is “Diller”?
- Aw, his mom bought him Jordans!
- True maternal love.
- For the record: Yes, you can buy your teen’s love with shoes.
- This reminds me of the fateful holiday season when my divorced parents each bought me the same pair of boots from my Christmas list.
- Don’t worry, I bravely survived.
- Bree is ratting on the drug operation?
- Okay, end of episode!
- That was…fine?
#Thoughts #Watching #Episode #Waterfront
