I started drinking coffee when I was 11 years old. My grandmother, who drank her coffee in bed all her life, let me try it for the first time. Even though the coffee she made me was a mostly-milk latte, I felt so special and so “grown up,” that I immediately became obsessed.

What started as a cute tradition with my grandmother became a dependency that worsened in college. My course load often kept me up until 3 a.m., and I began to rely on the university cafe’s strong black coffee to help me function throughout the day. When I graduated and started my career, drinking coffee on an empty stomach became a regular part of my routine. It was something I didn’t even question; I did it by default. Every morning, I’d march into the office with my extra large thermos of coffee and settle in at my computer for the day.

I did this for years, until I started experiencing anxiety and a racing heart. At first, I thought that it was just badly managed stress, but when the situation didn’t improve, I started to look for more lasting solutions.

The situation was on my mind when I met Mikaela Reuben, a chef who has cooked for everyone from Blake Lively to the Dalai Lama. Naturally, I decided to ask her opinion—after all, she’s known for practicing a holistic version of nutrition and wellness. “I frequently encourage people to drink tea throughout the day,” she told me. “Not as a substitute for coffee, but as a habit that supports hydration, digestion, and overall nutrition. In particular, herbal infusions can be full of healing properties, and drinking something hot can be a grounding ritual. It’s one of those small gestures that can make a big difference.”

Reuben’s comments inspired me to consider my habit and to listen to my body, which was clearly giving me signals. In my emotional state, drinking coffee just wasn’t a good decision. “That said, yes, I drink coffee too,” she confided. “But I try to be mindful of how it affects the nervous system, so I usually eat first and reflect on why I drink it. Do I use it to connect or to cope? I still wonder what it would be like to give it up completely, but at the moment I’m not quite ready.”