12. These housewives are kooky. The mansion that this lunch is being held at looks like Versailles on acid.

13. They are now getting drunk, and one of the kooky housewives is showing Victoria her “dolphin call,” which is basically just a high-pitched shriek. This ain’t your boring ol’ standard brunch! If I got drunk with Victoria, I would demand a live performance of “Spice Up Your Life.” And ask if I could have one of her Birkin bags.

14. Victoria is feeling homesick, so she goes shopping to cure her sadness. Relatable queen.

15. OMG… remember the store Kitson? That was the celebrity hotspot of the 2000s.

16. I think a day of shopping with Posh Spice would cure me. It would cure me of any and all anxiety. It would pay my bills. It would be improve my health. All of it.

17. We are now almost through the episode, and we have simply not had enough David cameos for my liking. I could do with one more shirtless scene.

18. Victoria is preparing herself for California earthquakes by putting herself into an earthquake simulator. (This, for some reason, is in the back of a transport truck?) Seeing her flail around on a couch, her heels flying up in the air, is TV gold.

19. She’s now touring houses for the family to buy. (I guess that rental ice cube house isn’t cutting it.) House Hunters is one of my guilty pleasures, so seeing Posh Spice do House Hunters? Next level. Especially when the budget is, like, $20 million.

20. Her style during this era was just too good. That hot-pink bodycon dress feels like a total relic but so fab.

21. They are dressing up a blow-up doll to look like Victoria, in the hopes of placing it in a car and throwing off the paparazzi. I understand the approach: this was the peak of tabloid culture, after all. Let the woman have privacy! (Justice for Britney, too!)

22. Victoria is buying David a Chopard watch as a coming-to-America gift. I, too, am based in America. Can she buy me one?

23. She is now learning how to throw a baseball, because she was invited as a special guest to pitch at a Dodgers game. Random side quest, but go off, queen.