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Wayward, Mae Martin’s new mystery-thriller limited series co-starring Toni Collette and Alyvia Alyn Lind, has been trending on Netflix ever since it came out last month, but for weeks I didn’t watch it. Why? Because I am extremely afraid of everything—especially mystery thrillers, and particularly ones set in the woods of New England.
My cowardly stread ended today, however. Below, find absolutely every thought I had while watching Season 1, Episode 1 of Wayward.
- I simply love when the croaking of toads echoes.
- 2003! The scariest year of all!
- I know that glass-breaking didn’t happen in my apartment, but instead on the TV show I’m watching, yet I’m still scared.
- What is this person running from?
- Tornado siren??
- Is this, like, an Esalen-y cult?
- How are they…surviving underwater?
- I miss my rom-coms.
- Okay, here we go: the present day.
- I love the idea that you don’t need money to live in Vancouver.
- Are teenage girls these days really fixated on the Beatles?
- Why are all these popular girls dressed so Clueless?
- Truly, what year is it?
- Aw, this show is making me kind of nostalgic for being a teen-girl loser with one friend who skipped a lot of class (even though, unlike Leila and Abbie, I had no idea where to find weed in high school).
- TONI COLLETTE TIME!
- She’s apparently running a “therapeutic school” in the woods of Vermont?
- That way lies danger, Leila!
- I didn’t realize how much I’d missed Toni Collette being spooky post-Hereditary (and United States of Tara, for that matter).
- Mae Martin listening to Weezer in the car? Dream date!
- Oh God, cute, queer pregnant couple, don’t move into some weird, abandoned rural home. Have you never seen a horror movie?
- I need this show to take a Hard Candy turn and end with Leila and Abbie executing some old creep they met online.
- Mae is…a state trooper?
- Or a…park ranger? Or something?
- Wait, what went down with Mae in Detroit?
- If a cop says their “response was not ideal,” someone definitely died, right?
- Also…is Mae meant to be serving he/him on this show? Or is this other cop sweetly clueless in referring to them as a “good dude”?
- The latter, I think.
- Eek, it’s the running person from the beginning of the show!
- A Tall Pines escapee, perhaps?
- He’s 15 or 16 and possibly in danger, and of course the cops don’t care.
- Clearly, Toni’s word is law in this town.
- I’m feeling very nervous already about the potential fate of Mae’s sweet, guileless pregnant wife.
- Addicted to the sight of Toni bicycling through town with a backpack full of kale.
- Sorry, what is Toni handing Mae? It’s something she “made from scratch,” but…soap? Muffins?
- God, adults really are such losers.
- I’m 32 years old, and seeing teens fight with their parents on TV still gives me anxiety hives.
- Hell yeah, T discourse!
- “You never imagine the father of your kid looking like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.” LOL.
- I love that kids are still getting messed up on drugs and illicitly photocopying their faces. Some things are eternal.
- Oh God, Abbie is being taken to Tall Pines!
- With her messed-up family’s consent!
- Call your congressperson about the horrors of the TTI-industrial complex, folks.
- Now the runaway kid from before is in Mae’s house??
- Well, that’s…not a gorgeous knife wound.
- Nothing has ever been scarier than Toni Collette saying “Welcome to Tall Pines.”
- Excellent use of Blue Oyster Cult on the outro, show!
#Thoughts #Watching #Episode #Wayward #Netflix
