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Nonnas is a very special movie for me. In addition to currently being the number-one film on Netflix, it also stars Vince Vaughn, the only man in history that both my mother and I have mutually crushed on. Granted, our infatuation dates to Wedding Crashers more than to his present-day deal, but I’m still glad to see him in this movie about a man who opens an Italian restaurant with a bunch of nonnas—a.k.a. Italian grandmothers—as chefs, played by a veritable murderer’s row of MILFs (or GILFs?): Susan Sarandon, Lorraine Bracco, Talia Shire, and Susan Sarandon. Let’s dive in, shall we?
- Is this intro song by Andrea Boccelli?
- Okay, it’s Rita Pavone.
- Did I just do Italian-American oppression?
- But I’m Italian!
- And Russian Jewish!
- All right, back to the film.
- God, I want a cannoli really badly right now.
- Zeppole don’t sound bad, either.
- Is this Carroll Gardens? Or just…any other heavily Italian neighborhood?
- No, I think it actually is Carroll Gardens.
- Aw, I miss older Italian women saying “Brava” to me for doing literally anything.
- If you’re ever offered a chance to “see Nonna make the gravy,” do not miss the opportunity.
- Okay, one extremely annoying thing about asking Italian women how to cook is that they really do always say stuff like “you feel it in your heart” when you ask how much basil to use.
- I can’t measure that amount, Nonna!
- Well, watching this movie hungry was clearly a mistake.
- Hold on, I’m going to order a sandwich.
- Okay, done. (An Italian sub, no less! Let nobody say I can’t honor a theme!)
- Oh no, we’re in the present and Vince Vaughn’s beloved mother Maria has died!
- Hey, it’s Adriana La Cerva!
- I am pretending I do not know about her politics.
- SUSAN SARANDON!
- One hates to be crass, but….boioioioioing.
- Wow, I guess in the end we all (ideally) live long enough to see Dr. Melfi become Livia Soprano.
- Gray hair and all aside, she’s looking good.
- Aw, so Dr. Melfi was Vince Vaughn’s mom’s friend?
- Why doesn’t anyone bring me polpette (meatballs) at work?
- I say this as an absolutely deranged dog mother: people who compare losing a pet to losing a human being need to be shunned.
- Vince Vaughn doesn’t want to talk about what he’s going to do with the insurance money he got when his mom died, which I get, but Adriana La Cerva and her husband disagree and urge him to pick up a hobby.
- Aw, the Staten Island ferry!
- I medically need to be at this Italian farmer’s market.
- Was this filmed on Arthur Avenue? Because it should have been. (I’ve never, ever had a better sandwich than the one I got there, sadly including the one I’m eating now.)
- Nobody can spend an hour weighing, squeezing, and discussing tomatoes like an Italian nonna.
- Hey, it’s Linda Cardellini!
- With some fetching bangs!
- I guess she knew Vince Vaughn 30 years ago in school?
- And she’s a lawyer now!
- Sort of.
- I love Linda Cardellini for food-shopping with her elderly neighbor.
- I literally just noticed that Adriana La Cerva’s husband is Joe Manganiello.
- Vince Vaughn wants to buy a restaurant and name it Enoteca Maria!
- I have to agree with Joe Manganiello that it’s not a great market in which to open a restaurant, but go off, Vince.
- $175,000 for the down payment? Not even that bad for New York, I fear!
- Okay, but he’s not quitting his job at the MTA. Smart.
- And here’s the movie premise: Vince Vaughn wants to rope in a bunch of nonnas to cook for him.
- I agree, this restaurant concept would definitely merit an Eater write-up.
- Joe Manganiello, shut up about the plumbing! Just get in there and help!
- Not Vince scouring Craiglist for nonnas!
- Breakfast, lunch, nap, talking to a photo of her dead husband? Antonella’s life kind of rocks.
- Antonella is Linda Cardellini’s elderly neighbor, in case you haven’t put that together.
- I’m with Linda: How, exactly, is nonnas cooking in a restaurant a sin?
- Damn, Dr. Melfi can really knit.
- Should I live the life of an elderly Italianate retiree?
- Also, it must be repeated that all of these women look quite amazing for their age.
- Oop, Sicilian/Bolognese nonna beef.
- Classique!
- So much spitting.
- The first official “puttana” has been dropped. (Google it.)
- I mean, why did Vince Vaughn think a bunch of older Italian women would automatically get along? Has he never been to Italy?
- I don’t hate Dr. Melfi’s giant framed glasses.
- Ooh, I will never tire of the sight and sound of sizzling garlic.
- Girlinas, stop fighting over olive oil! (Although this one is really on Vince for not setting up their mezze with appropriate quantities of olive oil.)
- Goddamn, that meal looks good.
- OXTAIL STEW? I need!
- I love how gently horny these women all are for Vince Vaughn.
- Maybe I’m dumb for not knowing this when my mom literally used to cover the Vatican for work, but…do nuns retire?
- Oh no, Vince Vaughn’s getting in trouble at work for all the time he’s putting into the restaurant.
- Boomers really can’t manage a side hustle, can they?
- Then again, they famously didn’t need side hustles when they were coming up!
- Aw, Susan Sarandon’s hands are going 🙁
- I like the idea of her getting out of doing hair, but is cooking really any better, hand-use-wise?
- I like Dr. Melfi’s fun little tomato-printed apron. Tomato girl summer, indeed!
- Talia Shire looks so tiny and adorable, I just want to give her a hug and explain to her how to use her Google Cloud.
- Okay, with all due respect to Dr. Melfi, capuzzelle (the roasted head of a sheep) does not sound…great.
- I pride myself on being an adventurous eater, especially while traveling, but I don’t know if I could do sheep’s head.
- Then again, if anyone wants to fly me to Italy and serve it to me, I could revisit that!
- Pesto alla trapanese, damn.
- I’m suddenly feeling a lot of pressure on the pesto lasagna I need to cook for a dinner party tonight.
- Tomato fight!
- Wow, all Italian nonnas really do steal tiny pats of butter from diners and keep them in the fridge.
- Aw, Linda Cardellini is a widow!
- She really seems to have a much closer relationship with Antonella than I did with the Italian-nonna landlady at my dad’s old apartment in Carroll Gardens who threatened to evict him when I came home drunk on my 21st birthday and loudly spent an hour trying to break in because I’d lost my keys.
- In retrospect, maybe that was on me.
- Oh no, the restaurant opening is delayed for reasons that seem to have something to do with the capuzzelle?
- And now Vince Vaughn is fighting with Joe Manganiello!
- Aw, Talia Shire is praying for the restaurant!
- Hey, Linda Cardellini just used her lawyerly tricks to smooth the way for the restaurant’s opening.
- Brava, indeed!
- “Don’t cry in front of the teamsters.” Words to live by.
- How does Joe Manganiello look so good in a gray plumber’s uniform polo?
- Nonna makeover sequence!
- Okay, I know Vince Vaughn throwing this two-person prom to make up for being a dick to Linda Cardellini at their real prom is supposed to be a classic rom-com-style grand gesture, but I’m not sure I’m totally feeling it.
- Damn, the nonnas look good!
- Also, Susan Sarandon totally shut everyone up while they were making fun of her fake boobs by coming out as a breast cancer survivor. Icon behavior.
- This queen-out over limoncello is legendary.
- Oh shit, Talia Shire lez-out reveal!
- I love how LGBTQ+-affirming these nonnas are being.
- God, I need to call my grandma more.
- Aw, I’m glad Vince Vaughn is paying the nonnas even though the restaurant hasn’t made money yet.
- Nonnas’ labor isn’t free!
- Nonna union when?
- “When people come in, I wanted them to feel like when they were younger and have the person who loved them the very most in their life cook for them.” Okay, crying!
- Vince Vaughn basically accosts a restaurant critic to write about Enoteca Maria, and…it works?
- Tanti auguri! Cannolis for all!
#Thoughts #Watching #Netflixs #Nonnas
